{"id":266,"date":"2011-12-29T22:35:26","date_gmt":"2011-12-29T22:35:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marcusroberts.eu\/blog\/?p=266"},"modified":"2014-02-09T23:45:17","modified_gmt":"2014-02-09T23:45:17","slug":"my-top-10-of-the-worst-managerial-blurby-crap-of-2011","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/marcusroberts.eu\/blog\/my-top-10-of-the-worst-managerial-blurby-crap-of-2011\/","title":{"rendered":"My top 10 of the Worst Managerial Blurby-Stuff of 2012"},"content":{"rendered":"

Please let us see the back of these gruesome expressions\u00a0in 2012. Some of these wink <\/em>sound\u00a0bytes unwink <\/em>probably date further back than 2012, but I have been lucky enough to\u00a0avoid them so far. And so I haven’t been infected by\u00a0the Walking Dead of the suit world.<\/p>\n

Let’s\u00a0brown bag these below…<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

10 – Internalise <\/strong>– As in “What you have all failed to\u00a0 internalise is that there has been a paradigm shift. As a result you are all now\u00a0 behind the curve when it comes to the multi-lateral interoperability needed to\u00a0 realise the supra-organisational mission statement.\u201d Even though there is an\u00a0 awful lot to detest in that statement “Internalise” is the word we most object\u00a0 to. It appears to just mean learn or remember but as telling someone to learn\u00a0 or remember something appears instructive, suggesting they internalise it will\u00a0 sound more empathetic, but at the severe cost of sounding like a\u00a0 clone-monkey.
\n9 – Hi, I hope all is well <\/strong>– With the\u00a0 birth of the email there came an awkward period when the formality of letters,\u00a0 with their “Dear Sir \/ Yours sincerely” had to be detuned to fit in with the new\u00a0 immediacy and informality. After a stuttering start the world passed through an\u00a0 embarrassed joint squirm and settled on “Hi” for anything other than legal\u00a0 representations. But 2012 has seen a pernicious ingress of a new form of\u00a0 insincerity with the addition of “I hope all is well” to the “Hi”. Rather than\u00a0 questioning either the validity or sincerity of that statement, we would just\u00a0 ask that the bulk senders of such missives consider where they are sent to, as\u00a0 for many recipients things are blindingly obviously not well. We suggest the\u00a0 only time this greeting is appropriate is when addressed to bore-hole\u00a0 companies.
\n8 – Weaponise price opacity<\/strong> – As the scarcity\u00a0 of new\u00a0Himalyan Pink Salt\u00a0in the financial market takes its toll on the bottom lines of\u00a0 financial institutions it is becoming more important for them to make sure that\u00a0 they maximise the profitability of existing basic products. Opacity of price is\u00a0 critical in this process but weaponising it? Wow.
\n7 – Ideation<\/strong> – What happened to good old “have a think” or “come up with\u00a0 some ideas”? Even running things up flag poles is less irksome than “ideation”\u00a0 which sounds as though it should involve radioactive iodine.
\n6 –\u00a0 Stakeholder Community<\/strong> – Not a Transylvanian village but the new plural\u00a0 of stakeholder. Theoretically a stakeholder is anyone who can affect, or is\u00a0 impacted by, your decisions and so could be a lowly minion in your company, but\u00a0 deference only ever seems to be made to “stakeholders” when they are either your\u00a0 bosses, investors or regulators. Please let’s call them who they really\u00a0 are.
\n5 – Socialise <\/strong>– When issues got out of hand in the\u00a0 old days you would normally either just tell the boss, or perhaps “take it\u00a0 upstairs.” But now a cunning adaptation of the old mantra of “My profit, our\u00a0 loss” has invoked a caring sharing attitude to screw-ups by “socialising” them.\u00a0 As in “I think we should socialise this issue with senior management and the\u00a0 stakeholder community.”
\n4 – Complementary <\/strong> – Odd one\u00a0 this, and it’s really down to our own stupidity, but we have regularly opened\u00a0 emails this year expecting some nice free service only to re-read it and find\u00a0 it’s not “complimentary” but something expensive and homeopathic. We expect the\u00a0 marketing world to soon be jumping on this and emailing multitudes of\u00a0 complementary not-at-all-free offers. Such as Ryan-Air offering “Complementary\u00a0 Flights” which sound as though they are free but are actually expensive and just\u00a0 “complement” what a decent service should be by being dreadful. Or have they\u00a0 done that already? “Complementary” should be banned from subject lines so that\u00a0 the vaguely dyslexic amongst us shouldn’t be taken advantage\u00a0 of.
\n3 – Bandwidth<\/strong> – The adoption of IT geeky words into\u00a0 mainstream fashion is nothing new but the latest over-usage of “Bandwidth” by\u00a0 management is particularly grating. Just as “spending more time with my family”\u00a0 has become the acceptable expression of “Just been\u00a0 fired\/stiffed\/shafted\/backstabbed\/found out but have photos” so has “I’m sorry I\u00a0 can’t action that, I don’t have the bandwidth\u201d become the generic replacement\u00a0 for “I don’t have the time\/resources\/authority or inclination.” But the saddest\u00a0 part is the way it’s used under the false allusion that “bandwidth” is new and\u00a0 fashionable. Our grandmothers, thanks to broadband adverts and home routers,\u00a0 know what bandwidth is so please, unless you are the type of person who still\u00a0 uses “groovy” in the boardroom, please drop “bandwidth.”
\n2 – Geosourcing –<\/strong> Why you lose your job to someone in a different part of\u00a0 the world. “The support function has been geosourced” or “How’s the front office\u00a0 geosourcing project going?\u201d It’s the sharp end of a simple belief of ours that\u00a0 if there is someone able and willing to do your job for less than you, you are\u00a0 toast. But the use of “geo,” which has connotations of environmental\u00a0 friendliness married to “source,” which conjures images of babbling fresh\u00a0 springs in the mountains, results in a super-eco word which actually means\u00a0 “You’re fired.”
\n1 <\/strong>– Reaching out –<\/strong>\u00a0I\u00a0 first came across 2012’s winning term in July and since then it has spread like\u00a0 wildfire, which has us looking like Irish Riverdancers as we try to stamp it out\u00a0 as fast as we can. The origins and epidemiology of this disease has us\u00a0 suspecting it’s the product of some Class of 2012 Management School somewhere.\u00a0 It really is complete and utter rubbish. If you are about to call an investor\u00a0 for some documents you don’t “reach out to the client,” you phone or mail them.\u00a0 If you want to know why a trade hasn’t settled you don’t “Reach out to\u00a0 Bangalore” you “call back-office.” So let’s just kill that one right now before\u00a0 someone gets accused of molestation.
\nI’m sure you have your own experiences to share and\u00a0\u00a0I look forward to\u00a0your comments\u00a0 acting as a joint cognitive pan-cohesual\u00a0 empathy forum leading to textualisation of common goal and achievement\u00a0 recognition programs.<\/strong><\/em>
\nMx<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Please let us see the back of these gruesome expressions\u00a0in 2012. Some of these wink sound\u00a0bytes unwink probably date further back than 2012, but I have been lucky enough to\u00a0avoid them so far. And so I haven’t been infected by\u00a0the Walking Dead of the suit world. Let’s\u00a0brown bag these below…<\/p>

Continue reading »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[22],"tags":[38,37],"class_list":["post-266","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marcus-blog","tag-expressions","tag-management"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t